Mini Episode 15 - Why do these things always happen to me?

Elliot from Preston wants to know why he’s always such a disaster.

Dan: (00:17)
Welcome to bad decisions. I'm your host, Dan Monheit and I'm still rolling through many episodes as we wait for Dr. Mel to come back into action today, uh, in our list of weird and wonderful questions about human behavior. We have, sometimes happy, sometimes sad, always interesting question from our different Elliot, uh, depressed and Elliot. What you got?

Elliot: (00:38)
This morning? I spilled my coffee, missed my train and stepped in gum. I couldn't help, but think why do these things always happen to me?

Dan: (00:50)
Oh, Elliot. Oh my dear friend, Elliot, because life is cruel. We all know life is cruel. I mean, you know, we've all been there, right? I'm sure you remember that time. You worked so hard to impress your new girlfriend's parents in that super fancy restaurant, five courses over three hours, and nobody thought to mention the poppyseed jammed between your two front teeth or what about that time? You tripped up the stairs into your boss, or when you dropped that massive tray of drinks at the Christmas party, or when you spent an entire day, including multiple new business meetings, blissfully unaware of your wide open fly, or the infamous ketchup stain incident. Shall I go on now, look with a run like that. It is so easy to conclude that the world is conspiring against you, but is it, is it conspiring against all of us?

Dan: (01:35)
Yes. Maybe you did commit some seriously heinous act in a previous life. Dear Elliot, or maybe, maybe my friend. You just have a healthy dose of self confidence, read narcissism and a falling victim to a very, very common mental bias. What do you reckon? Well, let me tell you you're about to meet something called the spotlight effect. The spotlight effect refer to the way we consistently and considerably overestimate how much attention other people are paying to us. So while we may believe that a faux pa a missing shirt button or a massive spill crossing the street has made a significant impact on those around us. Chances are they hardly gave it a second thought why you might ask because they're too busy thinking about themselves. Now the term spotlight effect was first coined by Medvec and Syvitski in 2000 after completing an experiment designed to destroy the street cred of any self-respecting college student, this experiment had a really simple setup. What they decided to do was create a situation where a subject would do something sure. To make them feel really embarrassed in front of a crowd. So how did they create this embarrassing situation you might ask? Well, the research participants were instructed to walk into a crowded classroom, wearing a bright yellow t-shirt featuring the bold enlarge face of the one. The only the inevitable Barry Manalow

Dan: (02:58)
For students, but also poor Barry. Now on average, the subject predicted that 50% of people in the room would see the shirt and take notice of them. In reality, only 25% of their classmates actually notice what they were wearing, which is a full half of what they had expected. Now, what this pretty simple, but pretty interesting experiment tells us is that we overestimate, in fact, we double how much attention we think people are paying to us. And in many ways, this makes complete sense, right? Because as far as our brains are concerned, we are the center of the universe, right? We are the hero protagonist in this blockbuster movie that is all of our own making. So of course it seems like things happen to us more than they happen to anyone else. And of course it seems like everyone else is always gonna notice when they do.

Dan: (03:40)
And they would, if it weren't for their own blockbuster movies playing out in their own heads at the exact same time for brands, the lessons here are simple and powerful. Firstly, if our customers or prospective customers believe that they are all starring in their own show, right? If they are the center of their own universe, who are we to tell them otherwise, right? We should play into the idea that our product service business or brand will help them stand out or fit in when all eyes are on them. Secondly, and I think this is more important than ever, right? We need to redefine brave, right? There's a lot of talk in our industry about doing brave work, brave campaigns, brave coms. Now, if the science tells us that a bright yellow Barry Manalow, t-shirt only gets half the attention. We think it will. Then how much harder should we be pushing our next edgy campaign?

Dan: (04:29)
Right. And I would say it is safe to say at least 100% further than we think we should. So that's it for today, Elliot, I hope that answers your question and you can, uh, you know, feel a little happier about how things go from here. Uh, if you have got questions, thoughts, feelings, queries on weird and wonderful human behaviours that you would just like to understand a little more, you can send 'em through to me, uh, I'm all over the internet at Dan Monheit, or you can email me at askdan@hardhat.com.au. We'll be back in a couple of weeks from now with another mini episode until then look after yourself. And if you really do think everybody's looking at you, who am I to tell you otherwise, miss out.